Managing social media and privacy during divorce

In an age where daily life is increasingly documented online, social media can become a minefield during divorce or relationship breakdown. What once served as a space to share milestones, holidays, and family memories can quickly transform into a source of conflict and emotional harm. Managing social media thoughtfully during this period is essential, not only for your own privacy and wellbeing, but also to protect children and extended family members from unnecessary distress.

Think before you post

The easy access to social media and mobile phone cameras means they have become a big part of people’s lives, and when things are positive, they can be enjoyable. However, it can also be used as a dangerous weapon during divorce. Thought and care should be exercised around posts on social media, what is shared and the taking and distribution of images. Good habits can help prevent serious issues later.

During a relationship breakdown, emotions often run high and previous thought and care may evaporate. It can be tempting to vent frustrations or share cryptic messages hinting at conflict. However, anything you post can easily be taken out of context, screenshotted or forwarded. Even deleted posts can live on in someone else’s photo album or message history.

Ask yourself these three questions before posting anything:

• Could this be interpreted negatively by my former partner?
• Could this cause distress to my children or family if they were to see it later?
• Would I be comfortable explaining this in a legal or mediation setting?

If the answer to any is “no”, don’t post.

Review your privacy settings – but don’t rely on them completely

Adjusting privacy settings on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and LinkedIn is a sensible first step. Limiting who can see your posts, who can tag you, and who can send friend requests reduces the risk of unwanted viewers accessing your content.

However, privacy settings offer only partial protection. Mutual friends, overlapping social circles, or even unintended algorithmic visibility can expose posts to people you didn’t anticipate. Additionally, children may accidentally share content or conversations through their own accounts. Consider:

• Limiting tagging permissions
• Turning off location sharing
• Reviewing old posts and removing anything sensitive
• Using “close friends” lists cautiously, or not at all

Avoid discussing legal matters online

When relationships break down, people often have to deal with legal matters, finances, or arrangements for children. Posting about ongoing proceedings, even indirectly, can be damaging. Courts take the misuse of social media seriously, and posts can influence outcomes around child arrangements, financial orders or allegations of behaviour.

Never post about:

• Court hearings or decisions
• Your ex-partner’s behaviour or mental health
• Disputes about children or finances
• Legal advice you have received

Keeping these discussions offline protects your legal position and avoids escalating conflict.

Protect children from online exposure

Children are particularly vulnerable to the emotional fallout of divorce. Social media can amplify harm if content about the breakdown becomes visible to them or to their peers. This includes:

• Posts expressing anger or blame
• Photos or videos intended to portray a particular narrative
• Comments from friends or relatives supporting sides

Even if children don’t have their own accounts, they may still access content through friends, family devices or future searches.

The safest approach is to avoid posting anything about the separation. If you continue sharing family-related content, ensure it is neutral, non-emotional and child centred.

Be mindful of new relationships

Introducing a new partner too early (online or offline) can intensify tensions. Posting photos or updates about a new relationship can:

• Cause emotional distress to a former partner
• Create confusion or insecurity for children
• Influence trust and communication in co-parenting

Take time to consider whether sharing personal updates will help or harm the wider family dynamic.

Consider a temporary social media break

For many, stepping back from social media during a divorce is the safest and healthiest option. A break provides space to:

• Process emotions privately
• Avoid accidental conflict
• Reduce exposure to triggering content

Even a short hiatus can significantly reduce stress.

The darker sides to information and reputational harm

We’ve seen darker trends emerging in the press and on social media, particularly during relationship breakdowns, including the sharing of confidential information and intimate images. Not only can this be stressful and immediately harmful, but it also causes irreparable harm to families and on a personal level.

What to do

Make a plan. We deal with these issues regularly and would recommend:

• If you’re high profile, consider addressing social media/image rights and privacy by agreement with a partner.
• Think carefully when sharing data, personal information and pictures of an intimate nature.
• Take the advice set out above and consider using non-court and potentially confidential dispute resolution processes, such as mediation.
• If you see private data, pictures etc on social media, act quickly via the website itself or get urgent advice. It’s worth noting there are both civil and criminal remedies in this context to assist in protecting the information, your privacy, preventing harassment and dealing with illegal content.
• Be proactive in shaping your narrative and, where possible, agree this with your family, especially if you believe there will be media interest. Enlist the help of specialists.
• If the press contacts you, don’t ignore that contact. Enlist the help of specialists. We engage with journalists on a regular basis and don’t assume all interest is bad.
• Ultimately court is an option, but defamation actions are expensive and public.

The takeaway

Think carefully before posting, tighten your privacy settings, keep legal matters off social media, and seek specialist advice early, especially if children or your reputation is at risk.

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