Navigating child arrangement orders: a guide for extended family members

When family relationships break down, it can be difficult for grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other extended family members to maintain contact with the grandchildren, nieces and nephews that they love. If you're considering taking steps to resume contact, it's important to understand the legal framework in England and Wales, what your options are and the practical considerations you need to think about.

Extended family members don’t have an automatic legal right to see their grandchildren, nieces or nephews. However, they can try to re-establish or maintain contact through: 

• an informal arrangement with the child’s parents
• a court order called a child arrangements order

What is a child arrangements order?

A child arrangements order is an order made by the Family Court that sets out with whom a child will live, spend time, and have contact with. These orders are based on a child's best interests and can be applied for by parents, other family members, or even friends. They replaced the previous "residence" and "contact" orders (and the even older “custody” and “access” orders) and detail specific living arrangements, including how much time a child spends with each person and where. They may set out how a child will have contact with another person. For example, will it be face-to-face (direct) or through letters and telephone calls (indirect)? Failing to comply with a child arrangements order is a serious matter and can lead to court-imposed sanctions.

Who can apply?

Parents can apply directly for a child arrangements order. They don’t need to ask the court for permission first.  

Extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, must first seek the court’s permission unless:

• they have the consent of all individuals with parental responsibility for the child; or
• the child has lived with them for at least 12 months.

Asking the court for permission to make an application

Most extended family members have to seek the court’s permission first. The court will consider:

• the nature of the application you are making – for example, whether you’re seeking direct contact (such as visits) or indirect contact (such as letters or video calls)
• your connection with the child – including the history and quality of your relationship
• any risk of disruption or harm – the court will assess whether your application could destabilise the child’s life or cause them (or put them at risk of) emotional harm.

While the children’s welfare is relevant at this stage, it is not the main consideration.  Having to ask permission acts as a filter to sift out any applications which are clearly not in a child’s best interests.  

It's important to remember that even if you are given permission to make your application for a child arrangements order, that doesn’t automatically mean your application is going to be successful.   

What are the chances of getting permission? 

This is entirely fact-dependent and the decision will be at the judge’s discretion. 

Some factors that may weigh against giving permission are:

• you’ve not had regular contact with the child
• the parents object to you spending time with the child
• the court considers there is a risk of destabilising the children’s home environment if permission is given

Some factors that may weigh in favour of giving permission are: 

• the benefits of the child maintaining and strengthening relationships with their extended family
• where the proposed contact is minimal and non-intrusive
• the opportunities for the child to bond with cousins and other relatives that are of a similar age to them

Making a substantive application

If permission is granted, you can then apply for a child arrangements order. At this stage, the court’s focus shifts to the child’s welfare, which becomes the paramount consideration. The court will weigh the potential benefits of contact against any risks or objections raised by the child’s parents or guardians.

There's no legal presumption in favour of contact with extended family members, unlike with parents. You will need to demonstrate that contact is in the child’s best interests and that it would enhance their emotional and social wellbeing. 

Where possible, the court will also take into account the child’s views (known as their wishes and feelings). This is very relevant if you are looking to reconnect with an older child. The court will take a child’s views seriously, particularly as they grow older. If the child is approaching the age of 16, the court may be reluctant to make an order, especially if the child has expressed a clear wish not to engage. It is more unusual for orders to be made for older teenagers.

Even if you have a strong emotional bond with the child, there are practical challenges to consider:

• parental opposition – if the child’s parents object to contact, this can complicate proceedings and may influence the court’s decision
• impact on the child’s home life – the court will consider whether contact could create tension or conflict within the child’s household
• existing relationships – the court may assess whether the child already has sufficient support and connection through other family members or friends

Legal proceedings can be expensive, especially if you need to apply for permission before making a substantive application. Costs vary depending on the complexity of the case. It’s important to seek legal advice early and obtain a tailored cost estimate.

Alternative routes forward

Before going to court, consider these options.

• Approach the parents directly to negotiate a phased contact plan. Consider reaching out to the child’s parents to propose a phased approach to contact, starting with cards or gifts and progressing to calls or visits
• Invite the parents to mediation. Inviting the parents to attend mediation can help resolve disputes, minimise conflict and reach an agreement without litigation. It is also very cost and time effective, and the process can be bespoke to your family’s circumstances. Specially trained mediators can also meet directly with children and feedback key messages from them
• Explore family therapy to improve relationships. Engaging a therapist can help rebuild trust and facilitate communication between family members
• Consider waiting until the children are older and more independent. In some cases, it may be best to wait until the child is more independent and able to make their own decisions about who in their extended family they spend time with

Reconnecting with a child can be emotionally rewarding but legally complex. Understanding your rights, the court’s approach, and the practical steps you can take will help you make informed decisions. Whether you pursue contact through agreement, mediation, or court proceedings, the child’s welfare must remain at the heart of your efforts.

If you’re considering taking action, speak to our family law solicitors who can guide you through the process and help you explore the best route forward.