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The hidden cost of divorce

New study reveals Brits lose one working day a month to divorce admin
man and woman with finances illustration

It goes without saying that when it comes to the breakdown of any relationship, it can lead to a period of stress, anxiety and emotional turmoil – but when it comes to a divorce, those feelings are often heightened tenfold. For many people, divorces come with a daunting administrative burden, often stretching their emotional and mental capacity to its limit.

Here at Mills & Reeve we’ve looked into the real toll traditional divorces are taking on Brits, by commissioning a study in partnership with OnePoll of 1,000 divorced adults across England and Wales. We’ve also partnered with therapist and divorce specialist Stacey Hart to find out how couples can ease the burden of the emotional strain of a divorce.

The true cost of divorce in the UK

According to the research, 39% of divorced Brits spent at least eight hours a month managing paperwork, emails and communication during divorce proceedings.

That equates to more than one full working day every month which could amount to around £1,800 a year in lost productivity, based on average UK earnings. And, when you take into account the fact that 41% of respondents stated that their divorce took more than a year to complete, then those numbers really start to add up. That could mean that divorced couples could spend the equivalent to at least 12 working days a year sifting through scheduling, paperwork and correspondence related to their divorce.

Furthermore, with 19% stating their divorce took more than two years to finalise, and 6% stating their divorce took three years or more to finalise, it starts to paint a picture of how without careful consideration, divorce really can impact lives – especially if couples don’t explore the different options that may be available to them.

Divorce’s administrative burden

When many think of divorce, they might picture dramatic court proceedings. The day-to-day experience is often less intense, but more onerous: a steady flow of emails, calls and paperwork that all require committed attention.

Legal communication makes up a large proportion of this time commitment; nearly a third of respondents (32%) said they speak with their solicitor four to 12 times monthly, with one in ten reporting contact as frequently as 16 to 28 times.

But it’s not just communicating with solicitors that can take its toll. Regular communication with ex-spouses can soon stack up too, causing additional stress and emotional strain, especially when you consider that 27% of respondents stated they contacted their ex-partner four to 12 times a month, with 10% contacting them 16–28 times.

Alongside work and family life, these interactions can stretch time and capacity near to its limit, often further provoking emotional difficulties. It’s not just the intensity of the procedure which can have a lasting effect on separating partners, but the way that negotiations can become protracted and complicated.

In many cases, these extended timelines can be affected by the intricacies of coordinating multiple parties and the heavy administrative demands involved in reaching agreements.

  • Alison Bull in a dark jacket, in front of a pale background
    Divorce is not just an emotional process; it’s also a significant time commitment and very expensive. Many people are managing regular correspondence and calls with their ex-partner and solicitor, which can disrupt their businesses, work, family life and overall wellbeing, and have a significant impact on children. The ongoing administrative demands can create additional pressure, affecting daily routines. This makes it harder to focus on children's needs and other responsibilities, while keeping couples in a prolonged state of limbo which can take its toll during what is already an emotionally charged period. However, couples who opt for a more efficient approach to the process, such as a one lawyer divorce route are often able to reduce the time frame significantly, allowing them to get their lives back on track much quicker and constructive way.
    Alison Bull
    Partner

The emotional toll of a long divorce

Beyond the financial and time burden, lengthy separations can leave couples in a prolonged state of limbo.

When a marriage ends, it’s usually an incredibly significant emotional event for both parties. However, in cases where these separations are drawn out, this can lead to increased levels of emotional fatigue.

Explaining more, therapist and divorce specialist Stacey Hart DIP MBACP explains:

“As a therapist, I often see how the practical side of divorce - the emails, paperwork and ongoing contact - can quietly keep people emotionally stuck. Each interaction can reopen feelings, making it harder to move forward.

“Many people find themselves in a kind of ‘in-between’ space, where life feels on hold. Over time, this can be exhausting and impact wellbeing more than they expect.

“What really helps is creating some emotional space around the process - whether that’s limiting contact where possible or finding support to process what’s coming up. Divorce isn’t just a legal transition, it’s an emotional one too, and that deserves care and attention.”

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Splitters’ regret

Our research also found that many people reflect negatively on the decisions that were made during their divorce.

Financial regret was the most common experience reported by respondents, with 17% saying it was their biggest regret following their separation.

Emotional regret – including things that were said during difficult conversations – was the next most common, cited by 13% of respondents.

Meanwhile, 7% said their biggest regret related to arrangements involving children.

This emotional toll tended to manifest itself in different ways for men and women.

Men were more likely to report emotional regret (19%) while women were more likely to experience financial regret (17%).

Meanwhile, according to the research, men are more likely to consider the relationship to be on friendly terms after the divorce process, while women are more likely to cease communication with their ex-partner once the process had been completed (44%).

Our findings highlight the emotional pressure involved in the divorce process – and the fact that many wish they had handled their circumstances differently.

  • Tim Whitney wearing a white formal shirt, navy blue blazer in front of a blurry background.
    Beyond the practical challenges, many people look back on the financial and emotional decisions made during their divorce with a sense of regret, which underlines the importance of approaching the process with clarity and careful consideration from the outset. Opting for a more collaborative route, such as the one lawyer approach, can help reduce that risk. By working together with shared guidance, couples are often better equipped to make balanced, informed decisions that they are less likely to revisit negatively later on. This not only shortens the process but also supports a more constructive dynamic, helping to ease both the emotional strain and the potential for long-term regret.
    Tim Whitney
    Partner

Another route through separating well with one lawyer

How much of the administrative and time burden is truly necessary when it comes to divorces? Many simply have never heard of another option that could be the perfect fit in many cases. A one lawyer, two clients approach, where both individuals work with the same solicitor to reach an agreement, is a choice that we would recommend for many situations.

By reducing the number of people involved in communication and negotiations, this model can help smooth the process, minimising administrative demands and creating a sense of collaboration rather than of opposition.

This model is often overlooked: only 8% of respondents in our survey said they went down the one solicitor divorce route. While many that we surveyed said their divorce took up to two years, ‘one lawyer’ divorces are typically completed in under six months, making them considerably more efficient.

A single lawyer working with a couple will have a vested interest in helping to reach a solution without going to court. Many separating partners will find this route more amicable, too, as it avoids the ‘well, my lawyer said’ back-and-forth which can threaten an enduring reconciliation or friendship after marriage.

A chance to separate well

No method can promise to remove all the difficulties of divorce, considering the life-changing decisions and adjustments that must be made during this time.

Yet the way couples approach the process can have a huge influence in terms of how manageable it feels, both in a practical and an emotional sense.

Approaches that offer to clarify communication and incentivise cooperation can help to reduce unnecessary stress, allowing both individuals the best chance to come through the process as happily as possible.

For this reason, it’s certainly worth considering whether a one lawyer divorce could work for your situation. For many, this is a profoundly smoother route through than using two lawyers – reducing administrative pressure and offering the chance to look back on a difficult time with fewer regrets.

For couples who look to move forward in a more efficient and constructive way, finding ways to streamline the process – like our ‘one couple, one lawyer’ service – can make a meaningful difference.

If you want to find more details on Mills & Reeve’s expert ‘separate well with one lawyer’ service, contact a member of our team below or fill in our enquiry form.

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Methodology

Mills & Reeve commissioned a survey via One Poll to learn about real people’s experiences. The survey took place from 3rd to 11th February 2026, with responses gained from 1,000 UK Adults who are divorced and got a divorce in England or Wales.

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